What's Left of Me
by InTheNameOfLovex
Summary: Bella lives the life of a normal teenage girl. When a not-so-normal teenage boy enters her life, Bella is forced to make decisions she isn't ready for. Rated M for lemons. Short Chapters. All human.
1. Prologue

****_AN: Chapters will be short- longer than this chapter, but still short. _

_I make no promises on the updating schedule. I will try to update as often as I would like, but no promises._

**Prologue**

_**BPOV**_

I stare at the doctor, dumbfounded. How could this happen to me? I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into. _We_ knew what we were getting into. We knew the risks; why flirt with the devil?

What would I tell me family? Oh god, my family is going to kill him.

It was a mistake. I was stupid. I should have known or taken this more seriously. I don't know why I didn't. Christ, I ran youth groups for things like this!

"Now I'm sure this is a surprise for you Ms. Swan but I can assure you that…"

But it's not a surprise to me. I practically asked for this. That's what my mother would say, what everyone would say.

I knew, and I still made the decision to unprotect myself. I am my own worse enemy.

"Bella…" I hear him choke out painfully. Why is he reacting negatively towards this before me? I can answer my own question. It's because he's lived with this his entire life. He knows what this means. I, on the other hand, have no damn clue. "I am…so sorry," he continues. His voice sounds so pained.

What will my future look like? There are restrictions for these kinds of things right? All I want is to be a registered nurse.

_Can people who are HIV positive even work in a hospital?_

I felt my chest cave in. I have no future. A dead end, that's what I am.

"Ms. Swan?"

I'm panicking. I feel it. My breathes are shortening, my chest is tight, and my hands are shaking.

"She's having a panic attack, call someone!" I hear him screaming. I feel his hands on me. All over me.

Suffocating me.

I scream.

And _wake up. _

It was just a dream.

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><p>Now I know there are probably a lot of questions. In time, this story will answer all of them. This is a subject I do not take lightly, trust me. I simply want the people who wish to read, to enjoy and be prepared because this is a whirlwind of a life that <em>I<em> have..

I am in need of a Beta, a serious one, to take on this fuckery. Message for the deets if interested.

What's the most shocking news you've ever received?


	2. Chapter 1

_AN: I do not own. I merely manipulate. _

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 1<em>**

**_BPOV_**

_December 17, 2007_

There's someone knocking on my door. I don't want to get up but I know my mom will just let whoever is there continue to knock. I get up with a growl. I hate when I'm woken up, I get cranky.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"For Christ's sake I'm coming!"

I get to the front door and yank it open. "What?" I practically snarl. Green eyes stare back at me in shock, and the boy next to him snickers. I recognize this one, he's my brother's friend. The other one, however, I've never seen before and I feel like a complete idiot for not straightening myself out before answering the door. My hair is all over the place, the eyeliner that I wore from the night before is smudged under my eyes probably making me look like a raccoon, and I can feel some dried up drool on the side of my mouth. Great.

"Hey Bella. How are ya?" I forget his name all the time, but it doesn't matter at the moment. Despite the fact that he is standing next to what must be a Greek god, I was still woken up.

"Spectacular," I say with sarcasm. I continue, "Listen, Emmett isn't here right now. He left about an hour ago."

I'm trying to avoid eye fucking the green eyed beauty next to him but its pretty damn hard. To avoid further conversation I quickly push the door to slam it in their faces, perhaps to teach them a lesson about waking me up. The door jams before it closes all the way, and I see a foot in the way. I look up and give this ballsy stranger the death glare.

"Edward." He simply says, like this is the perfect damn time for introductions. He moves his foot and looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to introduce myself.

"Fuck you." I slam the door. I hear that snicker again and I roll my eyes. The last thing I hear is his stupid perfect voice saying, "Damn, I have to have her."

Think again, asshole.

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><p><em>AN: That's really how I met 'him' too. Cocky bastard.<em>

_What's are your triggers or pet peeves?_


	3. Chapter 2

_****__**Chapter 3**_

**_BPOV_**

_December 28th, 2007_

"Ma, I'm going out!"

There's no response, and I can't say that I'm surprised. Renee's been having bad days at work, and she thinks that she's going to get fired any day. I don't see why that's an excuse to ignore your kids, but I'm used to my moms selfishness by now.

She's bitter, and always will be. My dad left her for another woman about ten years ago, and that is her excuse that the world is fucked up so she should treat everyone else the same.

The world _is_ fucked up, but despite what my mother has been through she has yet to know that fact, for real.

Not that I know anything about the world being fucked up either.

I'm just saying.

I leave, locking the door behind me. I really need to figure out what I'm going to do with Mike.

My…_boyfriend_?

I question this because he goes to boarding school in Wyoming. He comes home around the holidays of course but I still find the distance and time apart hard. I'm losing feelings, and fast. Anyways, he's here until the middle of January so that gives me a little time to figure out how to break the news to him.

I get on the elevator and take it to the ground floor. I live in an apartment building. Despite a few wack jobs, it's a pretty decent area. I can't complain.

When the elevator stops, I reach to open the door. The door flies open and I find my brothers friend on the other side, grinning like he won the lottery or something.

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Come to the movies with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" It was not even three days ago that Emmett came home with some friends. One being a busty blonde that decided Edward's lap was a good substitute for a chair. Not that I blame her…

Edward shrugged, as if it was nothing.

"You know I have a boyfriend, right?"

Edward's eyebrows raised and he chuckled. "What does me having a girlfriend and you having a boyfriend have to do with us going to the movies?"

"No. Sorry, but I'm not one of your little floozies." He scoffed, obviously not liking rejection.

"What made you think so highly of yourself?" He muttered.

My heart ached when I heard that for some reason.

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><p><em>AN: No reviews yet, but I'm not giving up ;) <em>

_No question today, but please take a moment to review and let me know if anyone is interested in this mess :D_


	4. Chapter 3

_AN: Thanks to those who reviewed :) _

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><p>"Give me my shit back Emmett, or I will punch your damn teeth in."<p>

He laughs in my face, and my hand begins to twitch. You would think he has something better to do than to fuck with my shit. Nope, not Emmett.

"Come get it." He reaches his hand over his head, knowing damn well I can't reach that high. Fucking prick.

"Do not make me tell mom. No one wants to hear her mouth. You know it."

"Hmm who should I call? Who is Rosey? Is she hot?"

"Give it back!"

I jump for it but of course he stretches his arm up higher. He laughs at me more and I'm ten seconds away from kicking him in the sack. Hard.

"Come on, try again. What's- hey!" The phone is snatched out of his hand.

"Picking on your little sister doesn't get old man?"

Great. Now there are two idiots bothering me. Edward hands me my phone and winks. "What's up, Bella?"

"Nothing. Thank you for getting my phone. Now, if you and my brother would just get the hell out my room…"

Emmett shrugs his shoulders and leaves the room. Edward, on the other hand, is looking around, pretending to not hear a word I said. The signatures and comments written on my wall are stealing his attention. "What's all of this?" He gestures towards my marked up walls.

"Just comments and stuff. I don't remember how it started but it just grew into this massive art project on my wall. It comes in handy when I'm arguing with my mom. I just trap myself in my room and read all the notes my friends wrote. It cheers me up.." I'm rambling, but he doesn't make fun of me for it. He just nods like he understands.

"I'm surprised we're having a normal conversation."

"I'm perfectly of carrying a conversation, Bella. I just don't like to waste breath."

I'm taken back by his words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know what I want. So why talk about anything else except that?"

"Perhaps to get to know me? How else would you do that if all you talk about is taking me out."

He smiles, like he actually likes bickering with me. "You misunderstand, Bella. I'm trying to get you to go out with me _because_ I want to get to know you."

"And now? What's the point of you being here, talking to me, now?"

"I want to be…friends?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You don't sound too sure about that."

"I want to be friends, I do. My intentions go beyond that though, I have to warn you." He winks and I feel my cheeks flush. He steps further into my room and grabs a permanent marker from my nightstand and looks for an empty spot. I just stand there as he writes, not knowing what to do with myself. He puts the cap back on the marker and tosses the marker towards me. I catch it. "See you later, Bella." He leaves my room after sending me a wink. I close the door behind him and practically run to the spot where he wrote.

Written sloppily on my wall Edward wrote, '_Every word I say to you will never be a waste of breath. You're worth it, friend ;) -Edward.'_

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><p><em>AN: Writing this chapter was such a blast from the past for me. Everything in this chapter actually happened :)<em>

_For those with brothers or sisters: Does/Did your brother or sister every annoy you? How?_

_Depending on how many reviews I get, I'll post a picture of my actual room, art work and all :) _


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